Some days, I am learning to be more patient. Patience wasn’t my long suit when I was younger. I was eager to make things happen and didn’t like waiting. Patience is a luxury of being retired. My deadlines are softer now than they once were. Tomorrow will work fine if I don’t get the lawn mowed today. I still set goals for myself, but I’m quicker to adjust my schedule and grant myself a bit of grace.

I noticed the difference this week when I had a medical appointment. I remember years ago when I was sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office and read a sign that asked those waiting for more than 45 minutes to inform the attendant at the desk. The sign irritated me because when I made my appointment, I was told that the appointment would be cancelled if I was late. It seemed unfair to me that the doctor would not wait if I were late, but that I should accept a minimum of a 45-minute wait for the doctor. Was my time not as valuable as that of the doctor?

Somewhere, I decided to shift my attitude. There is no point in being annoyed with the pace of a medical practice. I am not in a position to move their policies. Rather than focus on my irritation, I have decided to take those moments of waiting as a gift. I have often wanted more time for quiet contemplation. I have a list of prayer concerns worthy of my attention. As a bonus, I have discovered that sitting quietly and waiting patiently results in lower blood pressure when I do get into the exam room.

Learning that bit of patience is paying off because I spend a lot more time in the waiting rooms of medical practices these days. When I was younger, I went to the doctor once a year, more often than many of my peers. I had a third-class medical certificate for flying that required an annual medical exam, including a vision test. I had a yearly visit to the ophthalmologist to ensure my eyeglass prescription was correct, followed a month or so later with my annual physical. I also saw the dentist about once a year. I have added a few more doctors to my list these days, and I see them more often. Medicare pays for an annual wellness visit that replaces my yearly physical. A few bouts with squamous cell skin cancer mean I see a dermatologist twice a year. My dentist recommends having my teeth cleaned twice a year. I still have to have my eyes examined. I have a cardiologist and a urologist. All those health care professionals result in quite a bit of time sitting in waiting rooms.

I have noticed that I’m less impatient when traffic slows. When there is a train at one of the crossings on my way to town, I put the car in park, roll down the window, and breathe fresh air. I can’t control the trains or the number of cars that back up at the crossing, so there is no point in getting uptight. It seems like a simple concept, but it took me years to learn not to be irritated when waiting for others.

I stood in line at a local coffee shop a few days ago. The shop I prefer is a small business and often understaffed. There are chain coffee shops where things move more quickly, and a production line fills orders rapidly. This shop doesn’t have a drive-through window. If you want a cup of coffee, you must go inside and wait for the single attendant to serve whoever got there before you. When it is your time, you place your order and receive your coffee when it is ready. On that day, three or four customers were ahead of me, and I allowed my mind to wander as I stood there. A young man got in line behind me and soon mumbled about the slow service. After listening to him grumble, I turned around and said, “I think you’re in more of a hurry than I am today. Why don’t you go ahead of me?” He thanked me and we switched places. I was pretty proud of myself for having figured out how to avoid having to listen to his complaints. I doubt I would have done the same thing years ago when I was younger.

My time is not more or less valuable than that of another person. We all have things we want to do and places to go. Many things are beyond our control. Sometimes, we simply have to wait. The difference that we have control over is our attitude. In a fast-paced world with many demands on our attention, we still have choices about how we respond to times when we must wait.

Another discovery of this phase of my life is that it is fun to watch other people. I’ve always enjoyed watching people and trying to imagine their lives. As I look at them, I speculate about how families are configured and the relationship between strangers. It is pretty easy to watch folks these days because most of them have their attention focused on their phones, which means they don’t notice that I find them more entertaining than whatever is happening on my phone. I know how to check my messages and emails on my phone, but I can let some messages sit for a while. I don’t need to respond the second I receive a message, and I don’t need to be constantly checking for new messages.

I can still be frustrated with unnecessary waiting and the inefficiency of some service providers. There are times when I don’t enjoy waiting. However, I think I am getting a bit better, and when I feel frustrated, I try to tell myself I still need more practice and that now is a good time for that practice.

If I live long enough, I might become a patient person.